Strength

"Finally, be strong in the LORD and in his mighty power." ~Ephesians 6:10

I have struggled the past few weeks with spending consistent time in the Word and with God, mainly because I have allowed other things in my life to have power over me. I have allowed ED to creep in and mess with my head, which in turn led to relying on God less and not trusting Him.

The other morning, during my morning devotion after Tai Chi class, it was almost like flashing lights coming through my devotion book as if God was saying "Marybeth! Listen to me! You are struggling because you are not listening and putting your complete trust in me!" It was crazy. To quote The Confident Woman Devotional by Joyce Meyers: "We are not filled with the Spirit of God to do easy things. He fills us with His Spirit so we can do impossible things." Everything that I had been wrestling with the night before and that morning just clicked. I can never completely heal and do anything on my own. The only way I can have a complete, free life is through Christ! He sent his son to die on the cross for me and in that, my sins were forgiven and I was given new life the day I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior. I am not here to do easy things and to live an easy life, whether that means getting made fun of or losing people because of what I believe in, living out my faith when no one around me is a believer, or dealing with emotional issues.

"Things don't work out because we have not obeyed God, not pressed on and been willing to take giant leaps of faith." We struggle with things, not because God wants us to, or there are circumstances that "cause" us to struggle but because we are not completely obeying God, we are not spending the time we need to with Him and not "feeding" ourselves spiritually. We are refusing, in a sense, to take that leap of faith and say "God, I know what I am about to do is scary but I am jumping in anyway!" My strength comes from Christ alone and nothing else. I CAN and WILL take that giant leap of faith.

This month, I have made a deal with myself and with God that I am only going to say positive things about myself and I am going to spend time with God everyday because I need to "feed myself spiritually" as well as physically. God made me for a reason. My body is His temple and I should treat it as so.

So, if anyone actually reads my blog, I challenge you to do the same: embrace yourself--not only outward flaws but inward ones as well. Tell yourself the good qualities and not the bad. And most importantly, spend time in the Word with God because that is what you need most.

Changes

It is crazy to think that this is the last week of classes for my Sophomore year of college! Time needs to slow down! A few nights ago, my roommate got talking about leaving and going back to Hong Kong and the end of the semester being here. I almost started crying. I could feel the tears coming as I thought about how much I dislike change and about how my roommate is leaving, and my CA from freshman year who is now one of my really good friends, is graduating.
As I was thinking about how much I dislike change, I realized that I have changed. College is changing me...in a good way! This semester, I have begun to recognize and reflect on the changes in me that only God can do! It is so crazy what God can do in one's heart and and life! I am still in awe and utter amazement every time I think back to where I was 4 years ago at this time and even just as recently as first semester of freshman year and then when I realize how far I have come and how far God has brought me! To God be the glory!!
 A few months ago, God laid on my heart that I need to share my story...my story of healing and redemption. I have been praying so hard about it and I really feel like I am supposed to. I don't know when it will happen or what sharing my testimony will look like. I have been praying for God to give me a sign that is so obvious I can't miss it. I am trusting that God will show me the right time and place to share but until then, I just have to have faith and keep praying and trusting Him.
God is God!
God is Lord!
God is King!
GOD IS HEALER!