Strength

"Finally, be strong in the LORD and in his mighty power." ~Ephesians 6:10

I have struggled the past few weeks with spending consistent time in the Word and with God, mainly because I have allowed other things in my life to have power over me. I have allowed ED to creep in and mess with my head, which in turn led to relying on God less and not trusting Him.

The other morning, during my morning devotion after Tai Chi class, it was almost like flashing lights coming through my devotion book as if God was saying "Marybeth! Listen to me! You are struggling because you are not listening and putting your complete trust in me!" It was crazy. To quote The Confident Woman Devotional by Joyce Meyers: "We are not filled with the Spirit of God to do easy things. He fills us with His Spirit so we can do impossible things." Everything that I had been wrestling with the night before and that morning just clicked. I can never completely heal and do anything on my own. The only way I can have a complete, free life is through Christ! He sent his son to die on the cross for me and in that, my sins were forgiven and I was given new life the day I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior. I am not here to do easy things and to live an easy life, whether that means getting made fun of or losing people because of what I believe in, living out my faith when no one around me is a believer, or dealing with emotional issues.

"Things don't work out because we have not obeyed God, not pressed on and been willing to take giant leaps of faith." We struggle with things, not because God wants us to, or there are circumstances that "cause" us to struggle but because we are not completely obeying God, we are not spending the time we need to with Him and not "feeding" ourselves spiritually. We are refusing, in a sense, to take that leap of faith and say "God, I know what I am about to do is scary but I am jumping in anyway!" My strength comes from Christ alone and nothing else. I CAN and WILL take that giant leap of faith.

This month, I have made a deal with myself and with God that I am only going to say positive things about myself and I am going to spend time with God everyday because I need to "feed myself spiritually" as well as physically. God made me for a reason. My body is His temple and I should treat it as so.

So, if anyone actually reads my blog, I challenge you to do the same: embrace yourself--not only outward flaws but inward ones as well. Tell yourself the good qualities and not the bad. And most importantly, spend time in the Word with God because that is what you need most.

Changes

It is crazy to think that this is the last week of classes for my Sophomore year of college! Time needs to slow down! A few nights ago, my roommate got talking about leaving and going back to Hong Kong and the end of the semester being here. I almost started crying. I could feel the tears coming as I thought about how much I dislike change and about how my roommate is leaving, and my CA from freshman year who is now one of my really good friends, is graduating.
As I was thinking about how much I dislike change, I realized that I have changed. College is changing me...in a good way! This semester, I have begun to recognize and reflect on the changes in me that only God can do! It is so crazy what God can do in one's heart and and life! I am still in awe and utter amazement every time I think back to where I was 4 years ago at this time and even just as recently as first semester of freshman year and then when I realize how far I have come and how far God has brought me! To God be the glory!!
 A few months ago, God laid on my heart that I need to share my story...my story of healing and redemption. I have been praying so hard about it and I really feel like I am supposed to. I don't know when it will happen or what sharing my testimony will look like. I have been praying for God to give me a sign that is so obvious I can't miss it. I am trusting that God will show me the right time and place to share but until then, I just have to have faith and keep praying and trusting Him.
God is God!
God is Lord!
God is King!
GOD IS HEALER!

Obedience

Tonight at Community Group, we discussed "Obedience to Christ". The first verse we looked at was

Romans 12:1
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship."

This verse in particular, has come up in my life a lot throughout the past few years and every time I read it, I always interpret "offer your bodies as living sacrifices" as we are called to treat our bodies well and not abuse them. This is so very true since the Holy Spirit lives in us once we accept Christ into our lives. But, tonight I learned that not only is this verse talking about our bodies as physical objects but also our mind, heart, and soul. Our mind, heart, and soul are also a part of our body, although not physically. One girl put it very nicely when she said, "We need a clean heart, pure mind, and a healthy soul." Yes, keeping our physical bodies healthy is something we are supposed to do but we are also called to have "a clean heart, pure mind, and a healthy soul". This means that we need to focus our hearts and minds on Christ and anything that glorifies Him. When we put things in our minds and focus on un-Godly things that we let fill our heart, we can easily drift away from God and it makes it easier for us to disobey Him. We are called, as God's children, to obey and respect Him and through that, we worship him.

We went on to look at John 14:21,
"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

We obey God, not because we are obligated to, but out of pure love for Him and what He has done for us!

Someone whom I follow on twitter, tweeted this video a few weeks ago. I just watched this today and it is something I really needed. God is so good! Last night, during my quiet time, I was just telling God that I needed help from Him to continue on and I opened my Bible to a random page and I landed on Psalm 34:4;
"I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." All I know to say is...WOW. It is really amazing that even little things like just finding a verse, can help my faith and remind me how amazing God is and that He really will take care of me.

http://thegospelcoalition.org/resources/a/the_snare_of_compare_john_2115-22

After learning about the loss of a friend last night, I have really been reflecting on why things happen whether good or bad and what God is trying to teach us through the really difficult times. The reality is, there is no answer. I was reminded of Job and his story back in December, about a month after I lost my cousin, and it has resonated with me ever since. Job 1:1 says, "In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil." Job was, in our terms, a perfect man. He had everything he could ever want until he lost everything--his children, wife, all except 4 servants, and all his livestock. Through the whole ordeal, he never cursed God. Job 2:10 says, "He replied, 'you are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?". This is so true--Job has an excellent point! There is no point in accepting good from God if we don't accept the bad. The two go hand in hand--God gives good to those who love Him. Sometimes He has to give hard and difficult things to the ones He loves to make them trust Him more. This is something I need to remind myself of daily because I expect God to give me only good things but I forget that you can't have good unless you have bad. It's kind of like playing a sport. Say you play basketball and you win every single game and never lose. After a while, winning will get old and the joy of beating the other team will go away because you are used to it. You will feel like there is no need to practice anymore because you feel guaranteed a win. That's how it is if God only gave good all the time. We would become accustomed to receiving only good things which will probably make us feel like we don't need God anymore because we are so positive that things will always go our way. God has to give some bad in order for us to come to Him and rely on Him alone and no one/nothing else.

We will never truly understand of be able to comprehend how amazing God is or even why He allows things to happen in our lives. We just have to trust Him and know that it is for the best.

Rest In Peace, Kate C.

"Jesus Loves Me This I know..."

It is so amazing to see just how much God loves us. In Romans 5:8 it says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in tis: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." It amazes me how much God really does love us...it is so much more than we can even fathom. I mean, He sent His only son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins! Not only did he send Jesus to this earth to die, Jesus died a slow, painful death, nailed to a cross! He was sinless, yet he died for our sins so that we would be forgiven. Think about it! That is absolutely amazing! I can't even begin to stress how amazing and wonderful I find this! We, as humans and as sinners, do not deserve so much love from such a mighty and all powerful God, yet He loves us enough that He sent his only Son to die for us--YOU and ME! Yes, I have grown up hearing this and I know it is true but as I have been spending more time in the Word, I have realized just how deep the Savior's love for us truly is and I have begun to really believe it. All I really know to say is--WOW!

My freshman year at PC challenged me in many ways. The main part of me that was challenged was my faith. I thought I knew God. I grew up in church and went to youth group in high school. I even went on a mission trip the summer between 9th and 10th grades. When it got down to it, though, I had a lot of questions. I realized I didn't fully understand what a relationship with Him was like. I have been so blessed to have people placed in my life who love the Lord and have shown me more of Him through their actions as well as their lives. As I learn more about my Savior and go deeper into strengthening my relationship with Him, I want to share it with, and hopefully encourage those around me. I will start out with my summer. This summer was not what I had in mind, honestly. I was planning on going to Leadership Project with Campus Outreach and to grow more in Christ there with other believers. God had other plans. Instead of going to LP, I headed back home and then to the beautiful mountains of NC for the summer. Honestly, I had no clue how I was supposed to grow in my relationship with God by myself. I was mad at God because I wanted to go to LP but He had different plans. As I later read in Proverbs, I finally realized that God's plans are so much better than mine and even if I want something really badly, God knows what is better and He directs our steps where He wants us to go; Proverbs 16:9, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." As a good friend I met this year encouraged me, I was supposed to go home and be the image of Christ to my family. I was still not happy about this. I just finished my freshman year of college and I did not want to go home to spend the summer. Even through my stubbornness and anger towards God, He began to really soften me and show me how to grow closer to Him, even when I was by myself with no one around to encourage me daily like I had at school. This summer, I have learned so much not only about myself but also about God and His love for me. It is amazing how much God can work in a person's life despite the circumstances. I hope this blog encourages those around me as I uncover and share what God has taught me so far and what He will continue teaching me in the days to come!